Written by j.w.
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Topics: Rupert Murdoch

Saturday, 16 July 2011

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Rupert Murdoch has discussed with me his new approach to dealing with the crisis at News International in an exclusive interview to be published in a special edition of Screws of the World.

'I'm sorry for everything' he told me frankly.

I asked how he felt about Rebekah Brooks resigning and he said he was sorry about that.

I asked him about the plight of David Cameron having such a difficult time. Murdoch was sorry about that as well.

I asked him about his son James. 'I'm sorry my hearing is going. I'm eighty you know.'

I switched to asking if he had anything to say about the Metropolitan Police. He paused for a while. Then rang someone and following this exclaimed: 'Whose sorry now!'

I hurried to get my story ready for Screws but when I rang them I got only a message 'We are sorry. Normal service will be resumed when there is a Conservative Government with an absolute majority.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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