Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Money, Lottery

Friday, 15 July 2011

image for Tight Scottish couple win Euromillions and promise not to spend a penny!
Very tight Scottish couple scoop millions and promise "not to spend, spend, spend!"

A very tight Scottish couple have won 161 million GBP on the Euromillions lottery and have promised not to alter their lifestyle. They are devoted scrooges and winning the millions will not change a thing.

Scottish people are renowned for their tightness, in fact Scotland is so tight it squeaks. Although they have plenty of oil for lubrication, it is rarely ever used.

The happy and very obese couple gave the following interview:

"We are over the moon and being the devoted Scottish scrooges that we are, we will certainly not be inviting anybody over to celebrate. It costs too much; the only time we will loosen our belts (they are both pretty fat by the way) is when we stuff even more food down our throats!"

They also wish to do a bit of globe-trotting and have booked double seats on cheap and pretty nasty, R++N Air, because they don't fit into single ones.

Many begging letters from thousands of poor English people have also been received, but they have told them all to; "f**k off you scrounging Sassenachs, we Scots are proud Jacobites, tight as ducks arses and never will forget the Battle of Culloden!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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