Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 15 July 2011

image for Hacker Confession Latest - "We All Wear Pork Pie Hats"
This Is Not A Hacker. Honest.

In the wake of the News Of The World phone hacking scandal, and numerous computer hacker attacks on various secure websites and databases, one question which puzzled investigators, was:

How do you recognise a hacker? And by logical extension: How do hackers recognise one another?

All was revealed last night when a notorious hacker revealed that all hackers wear pork pie hats. Those in the know have been aware for years that the coat of arms of the hacker, is the humble pork pie hat, with the brim turned up all around.

It may seem like simplicity itself, but until now, if a hacker had a need to contact another hacker, to exchange information, compare notes, or put each other onto potentially lucrative hacking jobs, all they had to do was go out, and look out for a pork pie hat.

The pork pie hat was universally recognised as the hacker's Facebook, or Twitter, a sort of social networking tool, particularly useful in crowded public places like railway stations, or football stadia, because the unusual headwear acts as a beacon to other hackers.

"It's true," one hacker admitted. "It's a pity that this has all come out really, because I was quite fond of me pork pie hat, but as a recognition device for hackers it's no longer viable. We aren't going to go away or anything, but we'll have to devise something new, and a little bit different. Like a tam o' shanter, or a fedora. Or maybe even a kilt in Buchanan tartan...Hang on...I've just got to make a call..."

So, is this a case of out with the pork pie hat and in with the kilt?

Who can say?

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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