Wiltshire - As the crumbling Murdoch Empire teeters on collapse a 200ft barley field etching opposite Stonehenge warns of more disaster on Friday's full moon.
The magnificent Capricorn lunation appears on the latest crop circle, thought by many to represent the Queen's natal chart.
"And it's got a bloody great big cow pat on the karmic Part of Fortuna," Amesbury pig farmer Gordy McFeckle told reporters, "slap bang in the middle of where the Death Star transits!"
The circle sprang up alongside the A344 as the waxing moon swelled ahead of bursting point on Friday, its horrid cow pat eyesore soon obliterated by molehills as the furry little critters suddenly got in on the act.
Locals said tonight the crop circle was a grim echo of another astrological chart field etching that sprang up in Hampshire rape seed oil acres the night Princess Diana died.
The August 1997 Diana crop circle showed her own Part of Fortuna 'severely debilitated' in its placement alongside the zodiac's great malefics Saturn and Pluto.
"Lot of jargon, really, I suppose," Mc Feckled added, "considering she was a right old slapper, Di.
"Is a NewsCorpse mole really at work in this latest rumpus?"