Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 14 July 2011

image for Lincolnshire vodka factory blast blamed on global warming
Scenes of devastation in Lincolnshire today

Boston - Genetically modified high-octane potatoes 'mutated by global warming emissions' were being blamed for the illicit still blast today.

Firemen fought throughout the night as a 50,000-gallon distilling vat erupted close to Boston town centre.

"Classic symptoms of what happens when you ditch the entirely respectable 'King Edwards' variety for cheapskate 'Duke of York' hybrids," Chief Fire Officer Dave Gumboot told reporters.

"Factor in some greenhouse gases from surrounding local slurry pits and bang! Home brew with a kick the size of er, Hiroshima."

Local allotment holders may now be grilled amid claims that toxic monster spuds are biochemically closer to TNT than traditional cultivars.

A bottle of Boston Hooch costs 94p.

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