Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 14 July 2011

image for English Channel earthquake 'sees passengers bouncing in their Eurostar seats' - report
Thank God it's Thursday and I'm er, fully clothed underneath!

South Coast - Passengers likened the 8am tremor to 'Mile High Club fallout on steroids' as an earthquake struck the English Channel today.

"It turned my skinny latte into a foaming frappé-cino," Eurotunnel traveller Mrs Doris Lump said.

"The train shook so much the seats were like a bouncy castle. Then the lights blew out and I very nearly ended up in someone else's lap.

"Fortunately I was wearing knickers, on account of it being Thursday."


Shockwaves from the 3.9 magnitude tremor reverberated around the Channel all morning as the British Geological Survey warned of more to come.

The 10km deep epicentre, just south of Portsmouth, struck amid reports of shifting sea bed sands.

"I blame Friday's upcoming Full Moon," Mrs Lump continued.

"Wanna see pix of my two minute ordeal?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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