Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 9 July 2011

image for Mystery Blonde Sighted Heading For Silverstone
Could One Of These Be What The Mystery Blonde Is Looking For?

The mystery blonde woman, who has been the subject of so much press speculation all over the world in the past month or so, has apparently been sighted heading towards Silverstone, ahead of tomorrow's F1 British Grand Prix.

London man, Tommy Shermer, was driving up to the Midlands for a family function along with his wife and two young daughters, when he became convinced that the vehicle ahead was being driven by the dark suited man, who has been accompanying the mystery blonde around the world.

"I'd heard she was in Britain," Shermer told reporters. "But never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd actually achieve a sighting, but I'm pretty certain it was her."

Shermer described how he was travelling north on the M40 when he spotted a blonde head in the passenger seat of the vehicle ahead. The mystery blonde appeared to be somewhat agitated. Shermer reports seeing a fair degree of finger wagging and head shaking.

"I decided to follow the vehicle," he explained. "If this really was her, there's no way I was going to miss out on a sighting."

Shermer followed the vehicle ahead as it turned off on the A43, heading for Silverstone via Brackley. He explained that there had been a rumour of the mystery blonde being spotted with F1 driver Jenson Button, so he felt he was on the right track.

"I was a bit surprised when they turned into Silverstone village, as opposed to heading directly for the track, but as we proceeded up Silverstone High Street, I lost them in traffic. But then I saw her come out of the post office, stuffing some paperwork into her bag. I followed her to the White Horse public house in the village, but she must have have snuck out the back door or something because there was no sign of her inside, or at the bar. It was definitely her though. She was wearing an Armani jacket, a little black dress, and a pair of Loboutin heels. She was beautiful, mate. The most stunning looking lady I think I've ever seen. I can't wait to find out what she's up to."

At which point, Shermer's wife angrily suggested that if he didn't get back in the car, pronto, and resume the family's journey, she'd perform something vaguely surgical on him with a razor tonight while he's asleep.

Shermer meekly complied.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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