A computer hacker from the Russian Maffia called Yvgeny has sensationally revealed how to hack into the private profiles of famous Twitter and Facebook Users.
He revealed the news to a top former News of the World Editor, but she paid him lots of money not to tell anyone else. He gave her the code name Bekki. She gave him the code name "My new favourite method of vengeance"
She also told Yvgeny that she could get him a Visa to work in Britain because she was really good friends with David Cameron. "He came to my wedding, you know." she told him.
She then gave him a big list of all the people she wanted private facebook access to. These included Steve Coogan, Hugh Grant, and all the people who had called for her to resign since the phone hacking scandal began. She also said she wanted the head of the Guardian editor on a plate.
He said he couldn't arrange that because he wasn't that kind of criminal. "I think you want the Hit Man Division of the Russian Maffia. I'm just their IT person. I spend most of my time asking people if they've switched their computer off and then back on again. Would you like his telephone number."
Bekki smiled deviously and said "No thank you. I've already got it."
By Katarina Frogpond.