A charity for the intellectually challenged called DUH has today released a report showing that less intelligent people are shockingly under-represented at Oxford and Cambridge universities.
In 2009, there were a total of 974 sixth-year school pupils who were so mentally retarded as to be unable to spell their own name. Only one of them gained admission to Oxbridge, and that was a clerical error.
DUH's report also reveals the unashamed elitism which abounds at these institutions. Oxford will only consider an application if the entrant has three As at A-level, allowing no chance for less able candidates.
The report concludes, "Until we allow more stupid children to get into our top universities, it will look as if we are discriminating against them. Surely it's more important to avoid that discrimination than to allow some bright exam-passing youngster the chance to study at a top institution."