Written by Inchcock
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Saturday, 9 July 2011

image for Nottingham Police Granted Special Status!
If you spot one of these on patrol in Nottingham, please inform the Chief Constable ASAP

It was revealed by Haye Tyson, a City Council litter picker this morning to our ace, unpaid, senile reporter Inchcock Gobblenot, that the Nottingham City Police are to awarded a Special Preservation Order from the city.

Mr Tyson went on to explain: "Now the Coalition Government has dramatically cut the number of officers, and their having asked for a further 2000 voluntary applications from officers for early redundancy, and their having actually received over 6000 application, we are considering placing a 'Protected Species' classification on them as well."

"We've lost the Dodo, the Woolly Mammoth, various species of Hominidae, and now the government has lost common sense too!" At this point, Mr Tyson got a round of applause from those queueing at the nearby Job Centre plus. Mr Tyson added: "As soon as we get any officer back on the beat and find them, I'll try to get their viewpoints on this issue."

At this point two Community Protection Officers appeared, and moved them on, as they were to be thought to be causing a disturbance.
Inchcock Gobblenot has yet to pay his fine, so will unavailable for further investigations until further notice.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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