Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Wednesday, 6 July 2011

image for New 'Prince William' Coin for 2012
Summoned to Clarence House by Charles.

The Prime Minister announced this morning that the bronze halfpenny coin is to be reintroduced into Britain's currency. It will become legal tender again - after a period of thirty years - from 1st January 2012.

Though the halfpenny will be identical in size to the withdrawn bronze coin of the same value back in 1981, the 'new' 2012 version will differ in that it will show the head of Prince William on it's obverse side. The reverse, or 'tails' side of the coin will depict a helicopter rescue mission scene taking place over a lake. Presumably showing a helicopter being piloted by himself - Prince William holds a helicopter pilot's license as well as being fully qualified in first aid - the scene on the reverse side of the coin shows a woman being winched to safety by the royal prince after falling overboard from a rowing boat into the treacherous waters of the lake.

But why is the halfpenny going to be reintroduced at all? Would not a coin of somewhat higher value be more appropriate for the hero prince? Prince William thinks not. He feels a low value coin is required during these times of austerity. His father Prince Charles agrees.

Indeed, it is no secret that Charles disapproved of the decision to withdraw the halfpenny coin back in 1981. He feels the prediction he made at the time that it's withdrawal would be inflationary and result in price rises of a whole penny did in fact turn out to be correct.

Charles is believed to have referred to the prediction during a meeting he had a few weeks ago with the Prime Minister after he was summoned to Clarence House. During 'discussions' at that meeting Mr Cameron was apparently 'persuaded' to see to it that official approval be given by the government to the royal suggestion that the diddler be reintroduced.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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