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Tuesday, 5 July 2011

The government has admitted sweeping public sector cost cuts are much more difficult to deliver. This follows the results of a study conducted by an independent think tank, which revealed that the move would affect the lives of MPs, and not just the British Public

The Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) revealed that it felt the sweeping cuts proposed by the Chancellor George Osbourne had little or no chance of being met as those being asked to make the savings had become irretrievably holed up in the pocket of the taxpayer.

Whitehall spokesperson Julia Duly outlined the difficulty of getting used to what were previously the perks of the job suddenly being viewed as the expendable adornments of life in government office.

'When you are invited to a wedding, you expect confetti. When you work for government you have similar expectations only the confetti is a little more expensive, and covers a much greater surface area.

'It's all well and good now asking us to stop purchasing notable essentials such as hand reared orchids or shock absorbing office chairs, but when things start to affect the quality of everyday working life and not the general public, there's going to be trouble.

'We are essentially being asked to compile a compendium on our downfall by highlighting all the things we can sacrifice.

'No chance.'

She went on to highlight the significant difficulty Whitehall staff had in accepting they had some level of accountability.

'To view our working practices on the turn of a borrowed six pence is very Big Brother.

'You can't just drop a new word like 'accountability' into the vernacular of the Public Sector without expecting a negative response.

'Rightly so.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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