Written by Inchcock
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Monday, 4 July 2011

image for Nottingham Survey on Police Morale Carried Out
A rare sight in Nottingham!

The Nottingham council have organised, conducted and financed a survey, on what the Nottingham police officers actually think about the cut-backs of 289 of their number from the Service in the Nottingham area, and how they will affect them personally.

In an effort to get a realistic unbiased viewpoint, they have engaged 'Inchcock Surveys Inc.' of 3rd floor flat (Back door), 269 Oil Drum Avenue, Upper Denture, Nottingham, to conduct the evaluation and appraisal of the result.

Their manager and tea-boy explained how he tackled this mission:

"It was important that I employed sufficient questionnaire personnel to ensure we covered a commensurate level of officers in the survey, to get a true degree of feeling in the feedback, I contacted the local Job Centre, and they sent along 29,938,475 people to be interviewed.

"From these we selected the three we needed. We felt that would be enough, as the Council insisted that we interview only officers actually on foot patrol. we sent them out last Thursday night, with their clipboards, onto the streets of Nottingham."

When they returned that night, it was with disappointing results I'm afraid, we only found two officers on patrol, and each of them arrested the interviewer!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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