Written by queen mudder

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Monday, 4 July 2011

image for Prince Charles 'tried to escape three times' before wedding to Camilla: reports
World renowned bigamist Charles Windsor

London - His daughter Princess Charlene of Monaco may have picked up a congenital disposition to flee her nuptials, worried genealogists said today.

Fans of Charles reckon he had to be sedated and had his passport confiscated - three times, no less! - before the daft wedding could actually take place.

In both cases a prenup review of marriage benefits eventually swayed jaded reluctance to tie the knot in a blaze of publicity.

"Except, of course, that Princess Charlene's got that pregnancy/heir-and-a-spare clause in her pre-wedding agreement," someone at Dork's Landed Gentry said today, "whereas Charles just needed a sperm test and a shotgun to seal the day."

Newlywed Princess Charlene and her gargoyle spouse Prince Albert are due to fly to South Africa later this week for a week-long safari honeymoon in the Veld.

A SatNav-controlled ankle bracelet may be removed following successful pollination of the bride's stigma and safe delivery of Monaco's next Grimaldi mini-me.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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