Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 3 July 2011

image for al-Qaeda fanatics in Britain are being trained how to act 'gay'
al-Qaeda fanatic, cleverly disguised

al-Qaeda fanatics in Britain are being trained how to avoid detection. They are being trained to act 'gay'.

A new terror training manual instructs Islamic extremists, if approached by women, to pretend they are gay. The very fact that some of them ARE gay has gone over the heads of al-Qaeda leaders who are sure the enemy will try to contaminate their followers by sending pretty women to lure them away.

A handbook, discovered by a female reporter working for 'The Daily Tacky', says: "Many places in big UK cities have sexy women wandering backwards and forwards purely to attract men. Especially those with lots of money."

"If a beautiful woman comes towards you, the first thing you do is pray. Then you run like hell. If she pursues you then you must yell over your shoulder 'Get away you damned floozy I am a homosexual being'.

This 'Guide' of 1,272 pages was produced by Taliban warlords in Afghanistan. It was discovered by reporters from 'The Daily Tacky' on a ­password-protected Jihadist website used by UK cells.

Apparently the reporters were innocently looking up recipes for curries when they accidentally came across the 'Guide'.

Other advice warns fanatics not to watch 'Coronation Street' or 'Eastenders' but to watch as many old episodes of 'Graham Norton' in order to study his mannerisms and intonations in his voice.

The Guide also suggests that they wear lots of pink and lavender in an effort to walk around freely, undetected whilst 'on their missions'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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