The National Institute for Pointless Comparisons of Assorted Populations (NIPCAP) has released a report comparing the incomes of Australians and Germans living in London. The shocking results show that native German inhabitants of the city earn almost twice as much as Australian inhabitants.
NIPCAP claims this proves that anti-Australian discrimination is prevalent throughout the city, and indeed that Londoners are "institutionally anti-Antipodean". One spokesman said, "Bruces and Sheilas may feel they are welcome back in the old country, but our study proves this is not the case. The government must do something about this frankly embarrassing situation."
A local businessman disagreed with the report, saying "it's obvious innit, mate. Aussies all work in bars, that's why they don't earn so..." before he was interrupted by a gang of vicious equality campaigners throwing rocks.