Brian Camden of Salford has found a loop hole in succession law that could see the end of the Windsor dynasty. The upshot of this is that despite waiting for decades, Charles will never attain the throne.
"I've been studying succession law," said Camden. "It's been quite illuminating. It seems that the ancient ruling about beating the monarch in a fight in order to wrest the crown from them has never been repealed."
This law, which dates back to the original British monarchs, was how a succession of kings attained the English throne, including William the French prince who took it from Harold. William introduced a period of stability that saw the crown change hands through inheritance rather than conflict. At no point however, was the law removed from the statute books.
"It is true," said Lawyer to the Queen, Solomon Tissier. "That particular ruling is ancient and embedded in the structure of the monarchy. I am surprised it has not been noticed until now."
Camden has already booked a train ticket to Windsor.
"I plan on becoming the next king of England," he said. "King Brian has a good ring to it. I'm pretty tasty in a fight, and she's only an old lady. I reckon I can take her in a little fisticuffs."
Crucially, for Camden, should he be victorious, as the police are sworn to the crown, whoever wears it, they would be unable to arrest him for beating up what is in essence, a frail old lady.
"How much do you reckon I'll get for those jewels at Cash for Gold?" Camden asked.