Camilla Parker-Bowles found inebriated with her dress around her waist singing "The Flower Duet" (by herself) with unmelodious monotony, on the steps of Westminster Abbey after the reception of newlyweds, William & Kate.
In her left hand was an empty bottle of "champers" and in her right hand was a large silver goblet empty of "altar wine".
Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton who had secretly left the reception and were walking past the Abbey back to Harry's flat, were dismayed unsurprised, and somewhat amused to see Camilla encumbered by alcohol, hat and hair askew, one shoe off, repeatedly slurring...."But I AM THE NEXT QUEEN....I AM QUEEN...IT HAS TO BE ME.....TELL THEM CHARLES....".
Exposed were Camilla's ivory satin panties with Charles Head embroidered on the front with a little more hair than what he actually possesses. Oops...
It is feared that Camilla is trying to come to terms with the fact that she will never be Queen now that William has married Kate.
Charles was found equally dysfunctional, minus his underwear, in his conservatory singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" to his most cherished plant, the Venus Flytrap which was salivating as Charles' small testicles swung perilously close to its jaws.
Graphic photos of the scene made front page of the newspaper, "News of the World."
It is reported that the Queen is not amused. Camilla, like Sarah Ferguson, will not be invited to the next royal wedding.