Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Sunday, 26 June 2011

image for Dorking pensioner had a shed load of one inch Hitlers
Lifelike one inch Hitler

A pensioner nicknamed 'Der Fuhrer' has been arrested at a Dorking car boot sale for spreading Nazi propaganda.

The local recluse, Adolf Nonce , lives in a bungalow just outside Dorking called 'The Berlin Bunker'.

Herr Nonce, who according to his wife Eva, "keeps himself to himself and works all night in his garden shed" has hand painted hundreds of one inch plastic figures of German dictator Adolf Hitler.

Adolf Nonce is also believed to own two pet tortoises called Goebbels and Goering.

'Der Fuhrer's' neighbour Doris Trellis, told a regular at the jumble sale that both tortoises had Nazi Swastikas painted on their shells.

The sinister 26mm plastic models of the German tyrant, giving a Nazi salute in an SS uniform, have also popped up on E bay at £4-95 each.

The online internet auction site, which has recently banned listings of a 'Dad's Army' Board Game, has now gone one goosestep further and blacklisted 'Dorking Brownshirt' Adolf Nonce for "glorifying hatred."

Mr Nonce has told a local reporter that his name, the address of his bungalow, and the markings on his pet tortoises are all "unfortunate coincidences".

'Der Fuhrer' also claims that the plastic one inch figures have nothing to do with the War, but were actually modelled on Inspector Blakey from On The Buses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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