Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 26 June 2011

image for Glastonbury Portaloo suicide of David Cameron constituency chair
Shale was found slumped in one just like this

Glastonbury - It's a new twist on that all-too-familiar OMG! No Damn Loo Paper!! sinking feeling typical of outdoor gatherings.

The discovery of West Oxfordshire Conservative Association chairman Christopher Shale's body in a music festival lavatory this morning is, nevertheless, still shocking.

Widespread UK media reports have described the death as suicide and cited Shales' recent criticism of the Conservative Party as a possible contributory factor.

A police cordon was set up around Glastonbury's VIP hospitality area as forensics strove to establish the actual cause of death.

Festivalgoers were quick to refute any blame on 'boring' musical acts - or alleged punch-ups involving celebs such as Wayne and Coleen Rooney who are camping nearby.

Farmland site owner Michael Eavis was at pains to distance the tragedy from the music event lineup.

"Shale was a big Kings of Leon fan and was looking forward to hearing them play," the 75 year-old farmer told reporters.

"Still, it's hardly good news for the Tories, eh?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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