Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 26 June 2011

image for Sunday Tabloids ALL Run Fictional Headlines! - Lack Of Real News Cited
It Says Here That Pippa Middleton And Boy George Are Getting Married

You couldn't make it up! Every single one of Britain's notorious red top Sunday tabloids, with one single exception, has led today with a totally fictional headline!

In an unprecedented move, a number of editors issued a joint statement expressing their collective regret at having to make this morning's headlines up, but they claimed to have been left with little option, because there was no real news worthy of splashing across a banner headline.

Critics argued that there was the ongoing situation relative to the Arab Spring in Syria, the Libya conflict, that the criticism of the British judicial system by the families of murder victims was perhaps a valid news item, or even Wimbledon and government U-turns.

The tabloid editors countered by arguing that the British public didn't really want to be reading about serious issues on a Sunday morning, stating that the public in general are only interested in who's cheating on who, which high profile media figure has become embroiled in a salacious scandal or maybe had a breast augmentation op, which starlet has suffered a wardrobe malfunction, or anything involving somebody high profile disgracing themselves in some way or other.

"We did consider running a headline about the Eurozone crisis," one editor remarked. "We thought about tying it in with the protests in Greece over the austerity measures, but let's face it - nobody in the UK gives a toss about the Euro zone, unless they're there on holiday and it's pissing down, or their tour operator has gone bust, so we binned that idea. We opted instead for a completely fabricated story about Emma Watson out of the Harry Potter films having her nipples pierced and snogging Pippa Middleton in a decadent Ayia Napa nightclub. You can criticise us if you like, but we're giving the public what they want."

Which essentially implies that broadcasting lies to the public has become accepted as journalistic practice in the UK.

Nothing new there then.

More as we make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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