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Saturday, 25 June 2011

image for Royal Freak Hospital shrinks to assess LulzSec hacker
Professor of Neuroskullduggery Dr Einstein Flintstone will use his legendary 'mind-meld' technique to probe the young

London - Leading deviancy specialists from the hospital's school of cynical - er...clinical! - psychiatry will assess the Essex hacker, it has been reported.

Ryan Cleary's mental state will be probed amid claims 'he's got Aspergers' - just like Pentagon hacker Gary McKinnon.

He will be probed by the Freak's Professor Einstein Flintstone whose work with botnet perps - based on his extraordinary 'mind-meld' techniques - is the very stuff of sci-fi legend.

Well, maybe.

The 19 year-old appeared at Westmonster Magistrates Court today where bail was refused on account of, er, stuff.

Prosecution counsel said today there's evidence the LulzSec hacker may be part of a vast global conspiracy.

"Not the same vast right wing global conspiracy that rattled Mrs Clinton during her husband's Lewinsky impeachment, of course, M'Lud," CPS barrister Roddy Crackknuckle told the judge.

"But a vast global conspiracy nevertheless."

Cleary has been remanded to a maximum security young offenders unit where internet access is confined to one ancient Amstrad (circa 1990) and a pre-broadband dial-up facility monitored by Special Branch.

His next court appearance is at the end of August.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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