The latest release by jazz group The Tory Twerps has been slammed by reviewers. Trumpeter Dave Comrade was clearly out of tune, it is claimed, and did not let sax player Kem Clarkson play a new exciting 'soft sound' to contrast with the groups hard jazz image.
News is emerging that there are bad vibes in the Twerps, with Georgina Osborne making a weak contribution on flute and the rhythm section playing a plodding beat which has upset the Police who say they are the ones really on the beat.
A tour by the Twerps to Libya and Syria has been cancelled at the last minute with rumours of objections to their visits from the highest authorites.
Kem Clarkson's son, Jeremy, renowned for driving everyone nuts with never ending drum solos is supporting his Dad and in a statement declared: 'The Twerps are being undermined by a craving for popularity. Kem is clearly the only player in the band with any heart. Perhaps he should join another group who know the score.'