In what is described as ground breaking legislation, the home Secretary Charles C Clarke has announced plans for a total rethink in immigration policy. Up until migrants and asylum seekers from outside the EU have had to fulfil various stringent criteria, in order to qualify for British residency and citizenship. This was an extremely costly and lengthy process resulting in no real entertainment value or finanvcial dividend to the British tax payer. "It was also very boring for everyone involved" states one Ms Mack Osi from the think tank Tit's For All.
Now under new plans leaked to The Spoof , we hear that Planet Earth Media in association with Channel 4A have been engaged by the Government and Home Office, to create a TV Programme where Asylum seekers and migrants can actively play for the right to residency.This new show will see contestants degrade and subjugate each other to new levels of depravity in the hope that one of them may gain celebrity status and with it a place in the UK. This new reality show has the working title of, "I'm an asylum seeker get me in here".
The shows creators not only expect to get the populist vote, but also raise valuable monies for the NHS and other government departments through a premium rate voting system. Other benefits which have been widely broadcast are said to include selecting popular people to join the UK who can naturally take on the mantle of celebritism, which of course is a burgeoning industry in the UK. One contestant a Mr Ladin of no offixed abode says he was particularly encouraged as he would like to return to the UK under a non-Student visa so he could watch his favourite football team THE GUNNERS play as many times as he likes. He also claims to be a great admirer of the chelsea flower show and weapons of mass destruction.
Mr Clarke see's little opposition to this new legislation as it is seen as providing solutions too a 'tricky problem' and entertainment to trailer parks up and down the land. One Mr Micky O'Flynn has expressed his delight by starting a drinkathon at his local caravansite. "Da supprt for dis type o' show has been amazin, and me a humble paddy on god's clean and gentle errthh! I am Blessed!!!