Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Local, Strange, Local Man

Monday, 20 June 2011

image for Stubbington Man Finds Strange Object In Back Garden
The Strange Object Looked Nothing Like This

Stubbington man, Larry Granger got quite a shock this morning when he went through his back door, into the garden, to put the bins out. Sitting in the middle of his back lawn was a strange object, which no amount of internet research could actually identify.

The object is constructed of steel tubing, is about four feet square, and has a dome like structure on top of it. The object also has pieces of leather, rubber strips, plastic loops, a printed cotton wall, some bits of cardboard, a wooden flap on one side and a little bell.

Mr Granger's initial reaction was to pop back indoors to ask his wife if the object was something she'd had delivered off eBay or something, but she had no idea what it was, how it got there, or who had put it there.

Mr Granger at one point considered calling the police in to investigate, but decided against it, reasoning that the police would probably have more urgent matters to attend to.

Presently, several neighbours came out to have a look at the object, but none of them could work out what it was or what possible use it could have. One neighbour's six year old daughter remarked that it was probably something that the vikings once used to keep chickens in, which was probably completely wrong, but as good a suggestion as any other.

Eventually Mr Granger called a man in from the council and had the object taken away in the back of a transit van and left at the local tip. Which cost him £35 plus VAT.

"I still don't know what it is," Mr Granger admitted. "Or why somebody chose to leave it on my back lawn. I'm a bit gutted that it cost me thirty-five pound plus VAT to have it taken away, but it was unsightly and it was cluttering up the back garden. I just hope it doesn't happen again, because the wife and I are both pensioners and we can't afford to keep paying the council thirty-five pound plus VAT to take strange objects down the tip. I hope we've heard the last of this. I had to take a tablet this dinner time, and the wife needed a stiff brandy. We don't need all this drama at our age."

A council employee from the tip, reputed to be something of an expert on strange objects, admitted that he didn't know what the object was either, or what possible function it could fulfill, but urged anybody who might find similar objects on their property to ring the council, because he wouldn't mind having a look.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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