Written by Lady Godiva
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Friday, 17 June 2011

image for Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet Middlesbrough, speak of Scarlet Spoofer sighting in Middlesbrough
Takwana's pet poodle 'Lady Godiva'

Takwana Smiith and Anitakapita Jones spoke out about a possible sighting of the Scarlet Spoofer but their story has a surprise ending.

Apparently, Anitakapita was 'staying over' at Takwana's house after having downed a few too many at the 'Jack and Jill' pub, Berwick Hills, on Thursday night, celebrating the receipt of their Welfare Cheques.

About l.30 a.m. they heard a tapping on the bedroom window and Takwana peeked out of the curtains to see a man dressed in red descending a ladder and running away carrying her poodle under his arm.

Takwana called police immediately and by the time constable Bobby Helmut and his partner constable Lucy Loveit arrived on the scene, neighbours were out in force curious to see what the commotion was all about.

Takwana said that she had read about the Scarlet Spoofer on the Spoof Site and was certain he had travelled to Middlesbrough from Birmingham to continue his peeping. She was concerned about her little poodle's demise after reading about the French Spoofer's affinity for dressing up poodles and returning them to their owners wearing ridiculous costumes, traumatizing these little dogs in the process.

Ten minutes into the interview with police, a 'special constable' walked up to the assembled crowd holding a man by his collar, dragging the unwilling 'collared' man up to constable Bobby Helmut.

Takwana and Anitakapita were shocked to realize it was Takwana's husband dressed in a Middlesbrough F.C. home kit and not the Man. U. home kit known to be worn by the 'real' Scarlet Spoofers sighted in Birmingham and Paris.

Takwana had to be held back by two neighbours as she lost her cool and tried to reach her husband to 'give him what for'. After her neighbours had managed to calm her down, Takwana apologized profusely for wasting police time and grabbed her beloved poodle from her disgraced husband. The poodle was dressed in a pink two piece suit and had a tiny gun strapped to it's right front paw.

Police took Takwana's husband to the cells for the night for his own saftely.

Takwana did confess that she liked the cute outfit her poodle was wearing and would keep it for special occasions. She said it did remind her of the latest avatar of her favourite Spoof Writer....adding that it could have been worse, the poodle COULD have been returned wearing a long mac and a pork pie hat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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