Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Wednesday, 15 June 2011

image for Top Judge gives Cockney 'life' for small willy joke.
Lord Nonce of Littlehampton.

A petty crook has been sent to prison for life after belittling a Judge's manhood.

Willy Scrote, of Hampton Wick, had originally received a "modest fine" for exposing himself in front of the Royal Box at Ascot on Ladies' Day.

The jurors were told that Scrote had flashed his "private parts" and made "obscene hand gestures" to a group of VIP's.

Scrote had allegedly shouted: "have some of this you posh slappers" and called the male members of the party "chinless berks".

But after behaving in an "insolent manner"during cross examination at The Old Bailey, Mr Scrote has been "made an example of" and has been 'sent down the steps' for the 'rest of his natural'.

The sentencing Judge, eminent QC, Lord Nonce of Littlehampton, was not amused by Scrote's constant smirking whilst in the Dock.

Willy Scrote's remark that he was proud of his "meat and two veg" and that Littlehampton was cockney rhyming slang for "a geezer's's dick" left Lord Nonce of Littlehampton spluttering into his handkerchief.

The Judge's Clerk, Rupert Ruff-Diamond, explained to the hard of hearing Judge that Hampton Wick was common parlance among "those sort of people" for a chap's member.

Lord Nonce told the court that Mr Scrote's offensive behaviour and language was an insult to civilised standards and that he should be "sent away for a very long time".

Scrote's mother, Ivy Scrote, was shocked at the severity of the life sentence and told reporters:

"Willy wasn't casting Nasturtiums on the Judge's little Hickory, he was just having a Giraffe".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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