Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 14 June 2011

image for Queen's credit rating downgraded as Palace fails to clear Epsom Derby betting debts
George, we've been rumbled on that IMF computer hacking biz!

Ascot - Online bookmaker RoyalMugPunter.con is still awaiting settlement of Derby Day IOUs on disastrous royal no-hoper Carlton House.

House of Windsor losses are said to account for much of the £50 million that bookies raked in when French-trained superstar Pour Moi shattered Queen Elizabeth's Derby pipedream.

"She'll be trying to blag her way back into the winners' enclosure with a string of complex punts," rival betting website Aintgottaprayer.con commented this afternoon.

"But whoever hacked into that IMF computer this weekend may have also destroyed all her lines of credit!"

Undismayed by the public humiliation of Carlton House's flop the royals are nevertheless in buoyant mood ahead of plans to win £££s this week.

Palace tarot card readers have predicted big winnings as a raft of favorable omens dazzles royal betting brains.

However news that a deadly loan (sic) shark off Cornwall's coast has been named 'Camilla' by locals has being picked up as an ominous betting portent.

"Don't be fooled by that soft, feathery roadkill look she sports in her headgear," one credit rating agency commented at lunchtime.

"Camilla's predatory streak is no guarantee she'll end up any richer than after all her previous Royal Ascot punts."

Kieren Fallon is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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