Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Men, Feminists, Flowers

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

image for All Night Garages To Impose £5 Surcharge On Flowers And Chocolates
You Don't Bring Me Flowers Any More

Bowing to pressure from feminist groups, the Federation of All Night Garage Owners (FANGO) have agreed to impose a £5 surcharge on each purchase of flowers or chocolates if purchased by an unaccompanied male.

The all night garage has long been employed as a safety net by inconsiderate males, who have forgotten things like birthdays, anniversaries, or who have been up to no good and are driven by guilt to take some sort of token gift home for their long-suffering spouses.

Feminist groups have long maintained that the purchase of peace offerings has been way too easy for wayward husbands, with the advent of the all night garage, and that the guilty should pay through the nose for the privilege of enjoying such a convenient get out of jail card.

FANGO members were initially reluctant to impose the measure, but when the feminists pointed out that the reason for guilt ridden men buying peace offerings at their local all night garage was principally because there was nowhere else open, FANGO relented and agreed to impose the surcharge.

The feminists were delighted with the outcome. Speaking on behalf of WAE (Women Against Everything) Millie Spankfirst told Skoob News:

"I hate men. They're all bastards. I don't see anything wrong with making them pay through the nose when they've neglected the women in their lives. They deserve everything they get. Filthy bastards they are. Rapists one and all. It took us a long time to get this surcharge imposed, but it's been worth it. It may make men think twice in future. They're all fucking useless anyway."

When we asked Spankfirst what WAE expect to get out of the deal, financially, she admitted that she hadn't really thought that angle through, admitting that WAE may well have dropped a proverbial bollock.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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