Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Monday, 13 June 2011

image for Post Office To Deliver Roman Letters Home - 2,000 Years Late.
Please send socks!

A stash of letters found at Hadrian's Wall is to be delivered - almost 2,000 years late!

Historians found the letters buried under a fortified section of the wall in Northumberland.

"The legionnaires' chief concerns seem to have been the cold and trying to keep warm," says Prof Colin Germinate, one of the historians working on the find.

"Many of the letters ask for relatives to send warm socks and underwear. They also complain a lot about the weather and the Picts."

However, a spokesman for the Royal Mail argues that the letters hold a greater significance.

"Everyone moans on and on about how poor the postal service is in this country - but how crap must the Romans have been? These letters didn't even get off base!

"But, just to show there's no hard feelings we are going to deliver these letters to the Roman authorities free of charge."

The Royal Mail has no idea if the postal services in Italy will be able to forward the letters to the descendents of the senders, or whether all the addresses still exist.

"There are some peculiar addresses like Mrs Portia Germanica Maximus, XXXVII Via Appia, Ostia and the like - but that's the Italians' problem once we've done our bit," the spokesman added.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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