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Sunday, 12 June 2011

image for Leicester Drunk Staggers A Mile In Another Man's Shoes - Says His Feet Are "Knackered"
Ooh! They Pinch A Bit!

Leicester man, and habitual drunkard, Matt Dillon yesterday staggered a mile in another man's shoes, upon completion of which he announced that his feet were "absolutely knackered."

It is believed that Mr Dillon entered into a conversation with a man in a pub, as they discussed various newspaper reports, and that the man criticised Dillon's interpretation of a current news story by saying that Dillon couldn't possibly comprehend the circumstances surrounding the story unless he were to "walk a mile in the other man's shoes."

About nine pints later, according to estimates, Dillon and the man got into an argument in the pub, in the city's Braunston area, and wagers were made that Dillon could indeed walk a mile in his opponent's shoes.

It seems that the man obliged, removed his shoes, and challenged Dillon to take up the bet. Eye-witnesses report that Dillon took on the bet, put the other man's shoes on and set off walking in a meandering manner up the road towards the city centre.

It wasn't long before Dillon got into difficulty, starting to hobble at about the eighty yard mark, but to his credit, he persevered and managed to complete the mile long ordeal, although he was obviously in distress.

"I'd had me a skinfull," Dillon admitted. "So me balance was a bit off, and them shoes was three or four sizes smaller than what I takes, so they didn't half hurt me feet. But a bet's a bet, and I won me bet. The other bloke was gutted when he handed over the fifty pee. Mind you, me feet's knackered now, all blistered and lumpy, and twisted up. It'll be at least a month before they make a full recovery. I suppose I'll just have to put me feet up for a while."

Dillon disclosed that he has no intention of donating the fifty pence he won in the bet to charity. When one onlooker protested, Dillon told the man to kiss his arse.

More as we get it.

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