Written by Ho Lee Crap
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Topics: Sex, Health, NHS, Nurses, Asian

Thursday, 9 June 2011

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'Treatment was shocking...'

Britain's first Asian-Style Prostrate Examination Clinic was closed down today after a series of complaints by patients. In an unprecedented move, 14 Asian nurses were suspended pending investigation into their medical credentials.

The British Medics Jury became involved after one patient complained that the nurse treating him had behaved unethically. Speaking to this reporter, he told me exactly what he experienced at the clinic.

'I had a prostrate examination a few years back. The results were good but I was advised to take another in a few years' time. Remembering that the initial examination had been a painful experience I was persuaded to use this new clinic after reading several favourable reviews.'

The man explained that when he arrived at the clinic, he was greeted by an an attractive young Asian nurse who showed me into the examination room. The man explained that at his earlier examination he had suffered some severe pains but the nurse assured him that their use of a lubricant jelly ensured the patient would suffer no discomfort at all.

'A few moments later I was arse-up on the examination table,' he recalled, 'while the young Asian nurse carried out her examination, pleasantly lubricated as promised.

'After a few minutes the nurse told me not to be embarrassed as getting an erection during examination was perfectly normal. When I replied that I did not have an erection, it was then I noticed that she had...'

In another incident, a patient had complained that his nurse had a photograph of a surly looking man on the wall of the examination room. When asked whether it was her father, brother or boyfriend she had replied that it was in fact her, before the surgery.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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