Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for Comparison website crash
Taking this photo cost three hundred pounds in gas bills

After the news hit that fuel prices were set to soar by fifteen percent in the coming weeks, BBC One magazine show, The One Show advised that all their viewers should go online and get hold of a fixed term contract for their fuel for as long as possible.

The top three comparison sites, USwitch, Compare The Market and Go Compare were flooded by simultaneous users trying to grab a bargain before the fuel price increase hit.

"We've never seen anything like it," said Alexander, chief spokesmeerkat for Compare the Market. "It was anything but simples. We thought we were under a denial of service attack! Dimples."

In a thirty minute spell following the announcement, millions of people followed the sound advice and started searching out new deals for their fuel.

"Mostly they were looking at combined deals," said Alexander. "Wimples. Some more daring souls attempted to locate different tariffs from different companies to help secure a few extra pounds off."

These searches hit the comparison sites hard, with some customers left frustrated with interminable connection speeds.

"I had to wait five minutes before my search results came up," said one such searcher, Dorothy Comm of Bishop Stortford. "They were lucky I was desperate. Normally I'll only wait one femtosecond for my web pages to come up."

Comm was one of the lucky ones. Many thousands were frozen out completely, and were left ruing a future of higher bills.

"We've turned off everything but the fridge," said one such unfortunate, Hugh Anncrie of Watford. "We can't afford to have more than one appliance on at once any more."

Most of the good deals have gone now, but the advice from money experts remains the same: Hunt out a fixed price deal, even if it's only for six months, it'll save you a pot of cash as the cost of gas and electricity continues it's steady march upwards.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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