Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Topics: tesco, Hippies

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

image for Bristol hippies protest against Tesco
Oh look, more misguided hippies

A group calling themselves the People's Republic of Stokes Croft are continuing to protest against the opening of a Tesco's shop in Bristol. The group are named after the totalitarian regime which seized power in China in the 1950s, and the Bristol group have similar ambitions.

"We want to ban Tesco!" said one particularly agitated protester, who appeared not to have washed his hair for several months. I told him that he could buy shampoo from Tesco more cheaply than at the local corner shop but he swore at me.

Not only are the bonkers fascist group fundamentally opposed to the basic principles of freedom of business, but they are also opposed to any large company or organisation - they would even try to ban themselves if they got too big!

The protesters claim that they want to preserve the neighbourhood's exclusiveness, unique high quality shops and snobbish attitude. Despite the fact that many poor people live in the area, one of the protesters insisted "we might be poor but we're not cheap. I give my local beggar nothing but the finest truffles and foie gras."

They claim that Tesco would not help the neighbourhood, because any money spent on products bought from the supermarket would go outside the area. Similarly, in slavish obedience to this principle, members of the group never buy anything when they leave Bristol and even take holidays within their dingy corner of the city.

I asked how the protest was going. One spokesman said that they were doing ok but could do with more support. As he said, "Every little helps."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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