Written by James Jameson
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: BNP

Sunday, 5 June 2011

The BNP have suffered yet another humiliation today as it emerged that they literally could not organise a piss up in a brewery.

The piss up planned to give a chance for members to drown their sorrows about their dismal performances was meant to take place last night in a local brewing establishment in Nottingham but participants wound up confused and angry when after bad map reading and misdirection they ended in a Mosque somewhere in Aberdeen.

Nick Griffin released the following statement:

"To the party faithful, to those wishing to fight the Islamic hoard and for those who just hate brown people and wanted to get pissed, I, your Furher apologise but I want to re-affirm my commitment to this country, this party and our idiocy and I truly believe that drunk or sober we in the BNP are still the biggest bunch of hateful prats in Britain and I think we can be proud of that."

The piss up failure- another in a long line of BNP failures including their terrible local election results and failure to win a seat in the last General Election and Griffins own bankrupting of the party due to bad spending and legal fees may be another blow to Griffin's leadership although some in the party suspect that it may not be entirely his fault.

"If you ask me, this was Muslamic sabotage" said chief party piss up organiser Anne Oldbiddy. "I wouldn't be surprises if the Muslamics and the Jews and the other immigrants teamed up and stole our map and hypnotised us which made us go to the wrong place!"

As of yet no one has offered any resignation but while most in the party believe Oldbiddy's statement some in the party are not so sure and are even calling for Griffin himself to resign.

Local party member and Griffin's main rival A. Skinhead had the following to say
"Well I mean er its not good enough is it? I mean well, we and the lads right, we was looking forward to a nice piss up to tell racist jokes right I mean our yearly piss up with our fellow morons is the only place where we seem intelligent! But Griffin messed it up. I can put up with his elector faults but no bloody piss up? Nah mate time for him to go."

Although many are angered about the piss up failure many party strategists are looking on the bright side noting that alcohol does kill brain cells and that the average BNP member does not have that many to spare.

Make James Jameson's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 3?

5 4 8 22
63 readers are online right now!

Go to top