Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 5 June 2011

image for Isle of Wight News - residents exporting cucumbers etc. are making a fortune
More than just cucumbers now found to be tainted

Residents of the Isle of Wight are 'raking it in' exporting cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce to all parts of the world.

This small island, ignored by many, is now on the lips of millions of people worldwide as they begin to eat salad items again with the knowledge that they will not become ill.

Mayor, Arthur Askme, of Newby village told our reporter,

"It's great for the islanders intit? All this foreign money rolling in.

All residents have given up eatin' salad items for 'time being coz these veggies are all too bloody expesive at 'moment.

We guarantee l00% that salad items grown on the Isle of Wight are safe to eat.

We're getting a bit 'low' on these items now so we think we may have to begin importing some from Germany to 'sell on'."

When it was explained that Germany was a country with a tainted salad item problem, he answered,

"Well 'taint our fault if someone gets sick from eatin' the German ones. We've only guaranteed those grown on the Isle itself are safe."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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