Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Local, Metric

Friday, 3 June 2011

WALSALL, W. MIDS - A man has made shit go wrong after misreading instructions.

Ben Phillips was working in his factory when an order came in for fifteen pieces of 20m of wood.

Ben misread the 20m as 20 million, not 20 metres - and ignored the fifteen - so then left a local primary school with approximately 100km of wood outside the front gates. It didn't help that each piece was 10m in width, causing much disruption to students and teachers.

"It's a shambles," said one, "we were going to build some stuff, like a shed, with that, but we can't use 20km of wood. We only needed less than a tenth of that."

Phillips has said that it was 'bureaucratic European foreigners' [sic] ruining the Great British measurements. He said that it was 'making a stand', however some have said it was an actual foolish mistake.

"We kept telling [Phillips]," said a co-worker, "that it says 20m, you know? 20m, we kept saying him. But nah. Didn't listen. Now he's fired for incompetence."

However, the school are putting the excess wood for good use - burning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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