A mutant Cauliflower is striking fear and horror into every section of the community.
'This is a new type of cauliflower' said Prof Dumble 'it can walk and jump at you when you are not looking!'
This dreadful being grasps your stomach and turns you into a raving zombie. Historians are sure Adolf Hitler suffered from an early type of experimental cauliflower, which eventually drove him mad. But now everyone is in peril and housewives have been seen racing screaming from supermarkets with cauliflowers biting at their backsides.
The 'Daily Mail' has called on the Government to stop the immigration of these cauliflowers from the uncivilised world. 'It has recently become apparent' the Mail says in an editorial 'that a large number of cauliflowers have been allowed into this country. We must not go soft of cauliflowers. When is our Government going to show some backbone?'
The crisis in political circles has reached fever pitch as strange stories of flying cauliflowers with wings are reported.
'Nature has produced a rogue being' declared a startled gardener on our allotment 'this is going to turn my patch upside down!'
WARNING: IF YOU SEE A CAULIFLOWER RUN.