Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 27 May 2011

image for Carole Caplin denies Blair shagging 'slurs'
'Massages' - yes! But absolutely no shagging the plantiff maintains

London - A High Court hearing has seen Daily Smearer hacks defend their rants that the lifestyle 'guru' was shagging PM Blair.

A libel judge heard today how Carole Caplin's top-graded security pass to No 10 was withdrawn by police amid concerns she was secretly 'slipping in and out' of nefarious rendezvous.

However a dearth of swabs or other DNA evidence means witnesses may have to be called - including slippery-as-an-eel hasbeens Mr and Mrs Blair.

Caplin's legendary stress-busting massages of the PM during the build-up to the Iraq Dodgy Dossier publication were widely reported in the media.

"And then somebody suggested she's Dr David Kelly's bastard daughter!" source close to the plaintiff's lawyers were heard to remark.

The UN WMD expert died in mysterious circumstances after media suggestions he had said fake evidence was 'sexed up' by Blair to justify going to war against Saddam Hussain.

A tampon found in a No 10 shower cubicle circa 2002 has mysteriously 'vanished' from a lock-up in Clapham.

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