The latest craze that's sweeping the nation - Planking - has been exposed as actually being nothing more than "lying down in front of or on top of things you wouldn't normally lie down in front of or on top of".
These controversial words were issued by a former planking addict who only kicked the habit after 3 weeks recovering from serious injuries sustained after he "planked" on top of a previously dormant volcano in Iceland.
The ex planker, known only as "ex planker", has warned local authorities that they will face numerous problems as the craze takes a hold.
"It legitimises behaviour that previously would only have been carried out by students or folk that have had one too many shandies".
Ex Planker's big concern is that plankers will get even more irresponsible and attempt ever more outrageously risky stunts....planking on top of Ikea furniture, planking behind a female learner driver doing a hill start, planking on the roof of Colonel Gaddafi's compound and, perhaps the most potentially dangerous of all, planking while holding on to the under carriage of Barack Obama's limousine.
A frightening thought.