Written by Court Jester
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Monday, 23 May 2011

image for The Time For Change Will Come Later, For Now Just Hide The Old Git
"Now then, where have I seen this chap before?"

President Barrack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama are due to arrive in London on Tuesday for a state visit that is to last three days. They are to stay as guests of Her Majesty the Queen at Buckingham Palace. Prince Philip, however, will be unavailable to co-host.

The Duke of Edinburgh has been told the ban on fox hunting is to be lifted for a three day period only, beginning this Tuesday, and only applies to the fox hunt in Fife, Scotland. The plan is not fool proof owing to the inclusion of one, the primary target at that, though it is widely believed to be the best option. Prince Philip will be allowed to canter around the Fife countryside bludgeoning foxes to death with an adult size replica Bam-Bam club until the President and his wife have safely left London.

A spokesperson for the Royal family said:

"The Royal family do not wish to be perceived as old fashioned and unable to learn from previous mistakes. Everyone by now as worked out what a colossal racist Prince Philip is, in addition to being a bit of a dick. The British public have expressed their desire to not be represented by this man when dealing with people of any importance. Therefore, in anticipation of black people visiting the palace, Prince Philip will be otherwise engaged."

The House of Commons was quick to quell any fears of fox hunting being legalised again, with MPs from all parties coming out and categorically stating this was merely a temporary reversal. Hugh Robertson, Minister for Sport, was unable for comment as he was attending an under-8s weightlifting competition in search of potential 2012 medallists. His Office, DCMS (Department for Conning Millions out of the very grim reality in this country of Sports), released this statement:

"Fox hunting is not a sport that will be reinstated by this government. It has simply been reintroduced for the three days spanning the U.S President's visit as a method of keeping the Queen's husband occupied. There was also a school of thought that Prince Harry should be sent along on the trip to Fife, though given the likelihood of Prince Philip mistaking Harry for a fox this has been rejected. Harry will now be taken care of by his settled older brother and sister-in-law whose primary responsibility will be to keep him away from any fancy dress shops."

Public outrage at this reprieve for the blood sport is at a minimum. Citizens have realised that the loss of a few foxes as a one-off is well worth the hit on their consciences when considering the alternative. The last thing this nation needs is for President Obama, possibly the most powerful man in the world, to be referred to as Sean "Puff Daddy, oh no, it is P. Diddy now isn't it?" Combs by the Prince of Idiots.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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