Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Monday, 23 May 2011

image for Chelsea Flower Show Window Box Fracas Arrest
Flowers.

A north London couple were arrested today following a fracas outside the Chelsea Flower Show.

Ken and Liz Bonkers were released by police after a couple of hours and were warned to stay away from the show.

The incident occurred as Mr and Mrs Bonkers, of Harlesden, tried to enter the show with a display of their own.

Said Mrs Bonkers: "What a set of snobby gits! Me and Ken, we decided that our window boxes were nice enough to go on show - the pansies have come up really nice.

"So we put them in a couple of carrier bags and got a bus and a tube to get down there. But when we tried to get in, some git on the gate said we couldn't take them in!"

"It's just because we ain't posh and didn't make a big show-offy garden," adds Ken. "But when I told this jobsworth on the gate that we had as much right to show our flowers as anyone else he said something about preparation and invitations and something and called a steward."

A spokesman for the Royal Horticultural Society said that when the steward asked the couple to leave, Mrs Bonkers became 'agitated,' started shouting and threw the window box she was carrying at him. A police officer intervened and arrested Mr Bonkers when hit him with a rolled-up copy of the show programme.

"Nuts to 'em anyway," Liz said later. "We've put up a note in Mr Patel's shop telling people they can come and look at our boxes for a mere £20 - cheaper than the bloody Chelsea show. Let's see who gets the crowds now!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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