Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 22 May 2011

image for Wills and Kate Plan To Give Their Coco der Mer Coconut Love Nut Honeymoon Gift Shaped Like Pippa's Butt To Queen Elizabeth
The yacht which Wills and Kate chartered on their honeymoon - The Saltwater Seductress.

LONDON - The new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, better known as Prince William and Princess Kate, aka Wills and Kate, have ended their 10-day honeymoon in the Republic of the Seychelles.

The Royal couple spent their honeymoon on the North Island and occupied the Luxury Estates Retreat Villa Number 4 which was fit for a prince and princess (no pun intended).

Wills and Kate, as they prefer to be called, spent the entire time enjoying the pristine beaches where everything is so perfect that even the jellyfish do not bother the tourists.

The sharks have all been trained to stay well away from any swimmers and crabs and lobsters would not dare to even remotely think about pinching any of the visiting tourists.

Loretta Piffinshaw of England's Ta Ta For Now News said, The Seychelles is one of the most perfect places in the entire galaxy.

Piffinshaw said that she was amazed to learn that there are no germs whatsoever anywhere on the Seychelles. Bacteria was completely eradicated back in 1977, and the uttering of curse words by any island inhabitants is punishable with a $9,000 fine plus the violator could possibly have his tongue removed.

Cigarettes are not allowed on the island and all snacks must be completely sugarless, fat-free, and low in sodium.

Kate giggled as she said that in the ten days that she was there she lost 3 pounds.

The gay couple, but not in the gay, gay sense of the word of course, charted the £2 million [$3.2 million U.S.] yacht The Saltwater Seductress.

Wills and Kate traveled to the island of Praslin where they witnessed the Porpoise mating ritual and then they sailed over to La Digue where Kate came very close to getting a tattoo of a palm tree on her left shoulder but Wills talked her out of it saying that he did not want his wife to start looking like that skank of a woman Amy Winehouse.

When the newlyweds were at the airport getting ready to fly back to England they were presented with a honeymoon gift that is known as a Cor de Mer Coconut Love Nut.

The Love Nut is considered an extremely potent aphrodisiac that is heralded by the islanders to be a symbolic symbol of the Siren Sienna, the Sorceress of Successful Fertility.

This particular Cor de Mer Coconut Love Nut was amazingly shaped exactly like Kate's sister Pippa Middleton's butt.

Everyone who saw it and who knows Pippa, agreed that the likeness was amazingly uncanny.

Some who do not really know Pippa compared the Love Nut to nude photos of Pippa that they have seen on the Internet and they all agreed as well.

Wills and Kate informed Ta Ta For Now News that they plan to present the Pippa Middleton Cor de Mer Coconut Love Nut honeymoon gift to Queen Elizabeth so that she can proudly display it in her royal bedroom on her royal night stand located next to her royal bed.

Reports that Roman Polanski offered to buy Pippa's Arse Love Nut for £2,000 [$3,246 U.S.] have as yet not been verified.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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