A Buckingham Palace source has tonight confirmed that Princess Beatrice's £80,000 Loo Seat Hat has been stolen from the Tower of London.
The hat had been residing there since its ebay bidding price hit £80,000. This is because it had become a national treasure, and all National Treasures deserve 24 hour security.
The mastermind behind the dastardly theft is believed to have been a prominent member of the fashion world, whose initials can only be revealed as VB.
She is believed to have been furious that the Philip Treacy hat she wore to the Royal wedding was no where near as fancy as Beatrice's. So she ordered her National hero husband to go steal the hat from the Tower.
When David told her the hat was actually Philip Treacy's loo seat, VB is believed to have said "I don't care, I still want it. Go get me that Loo Seat Hat now."
This theft will come as welcome news to Philip Treacy, who is still in a happy home for the seriously shocked after The Princess Beatrice Loo Seat disaster. He still can't believe she mistook his loo seat for a hat.
But the fact that the most fashionable woman in the world has stolen his loo seat from the tower of London will mean big business for Philip. This means that Philip can now tell people to put anything from his bathroom on their heads and he can charge them a fortune.
He's seriously wondering what he could possibly get Princess Anne to wear for Zara Philip's wedding. He's got his heart set on a loo brush...but she'd never go for that...would she?
By Katarina Frogpond.