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Thursday, 26 May 2011

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Plans are afoot to hire the Palace of Westminster out for wedding receptions and other functions.

The Commons Administration Committee are considering making the historic Westminster Hall available for the princely fee of £25,000 in an attempt to cut the £5 million plus losses currently being made by the parliamentary catering operation.

The cross party committee is also suggesting that other marriage related services be offered to newly weds.

Brian Entwhistle, chair of the CAC, explained :

"It is generally acknowledged that the vast experience gained by members of parliament could prove an invaluable tool for couples setting out on life's greatest adventure.

"Its being proposed that some of our more skilled debaters could hold Conflict Resolution classes where the customers could be shown how to take the heat out of a particularly thorny domestic dispute by tossing it around it for 5 or 6 months without coming to much of a conclusion.

"Newly weds could also benefit big time by taking part in our Big Debate Attendance Skills class which teaches you how to sit for hours listening to a boring old fart sounding off about nothing in particular but still be able to feign interest in what is being said. The occasional grunt or "hear hear" is often more than enough to keep the peace".

Plans to provide training on maximising income generation have, however, been put on hold.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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