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Topics: Gary Glitter, skirt

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

image for Further update on the "Shoolboy-in-a-skirt-gate" affair
An icognito Gary Glitter relaxes after a statement to the press

As the now nationwide arguments rage on in schools as to whether boys should wear long trousers, shorts or skirts, well known former pop singer Gary Glitter has thrown his weight - and there is now a fair bit of that - into the affair.

For those unfamiliar with the story, a schoolboy claimed that the school uniform rules preventing him from wearing shorts in hot weather was seriously affecting his exam and studying performance.

However, a doctor has since confirmed that the temperature of a schoolboy's nether regions should not really affect his ability ro recite Shakespeare, complete algebraic equations or discuss the composition of hydrogenated compounds. Unless he was accompanied by Cameron Diaz in a state of undress, but then the entire room temperature would overheat and not just a singular schoolboy, and it was suggested that male teachers - and potentially some female teachers in leathers and bovverboots - would overheat at a much faster rate.

Unfortunately the former glam rocker's reasons why 12-year old boys should wear skirts have been severely censored on the grounds of both good taste or a prison sentence.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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