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Monday, 16 May 2011

image for Curse of Friday-The-13th as cruise ship named after royal newlyweds sees engine explode
Listing badly in the Baltic Sea today

Baltic Sea - "OMG! Tell me this isn't an omen!" a Clarence House flunkey wailed as news that a passenger cruise liner named The Devil And Kate was being towed to port following a massive internal power failure.

The 856-cabin vessel, originally the MSC Opera, began listing badly after a mystery blast wrecked one of its engines and rendered the other useless.

The ship had been recently renamed in honor of the royal pair under the title of Antonín Dvorák's famous opera.

Co-incidentally the work itself was 'based on a farce' by the renowned Czech dramatist, writer and clairvoyant Josef Kajetán Tyl.

Media reports said today a full complement of 2,000 passengers had seen the ship diverted to the port of Nynamshamn in Sweden as stricken holidaymakers choked back foul fumes.

A systemic failure of vital water and electricity supplies had made for hellish conditions - which some blamed on a royal wedding hex.

"There's raw sewage everywhere, the aircon's off and a nasty green slime has appeared on the ship's portrait of the Queen Mother," aggrieved passenger Mrs Molly Piddlecock sobbed.

"I want my money back!"

A spokesperson for the vessel's owners said today The Devil And Kate 'is a a village comedy with a twist' about a comely local lass who goes to hell and terrorizes Lucifer's kingdom to the extent that the Dark Satanic One will do anything he can to get rid of her.

The 19th century musical work features a princess, a hellish gatekeeper, a magnificent castle and machiavellian plots about the royal succession.

An original score saw the opera named The Merry Wives of the House of Windsor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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