A leading member of the cast of the sci-fi movie Star Wars has tonight admitted that he is the actor who obtained a super injunction against Wayne Rooney's Prostitute.
The star, who has thus far refused to comment on the matter, posted a Twitter Message this evening confirming this. And here, for the first time in an official publication we can reveal who that actor is.
His name is David. He's an Ewok from the Planet Tatooin and he is thinking of returning to his planet to escape the media frenzy.
Friends of David say that this planet has gone mad and he is thinking of asking his good friends Jeremy Clarkson, Jemima Khan and Julian Assange to help him buy a space ship, so he can zoom on out of town.
David thinks he has been unfairly treated by the media on this planet and thinks there are dark forces at work. He believes there is a dark Lord called Rupert on this planet we call Earth, and that he is the most dangerous man in the universe. David thinks he is even more dangerous than a Jedi Dark Knight.
Darth Vader is said to be deeply upset by this comment, and will also be taking out a Super Injunction against Daniel to ensure that his supremacy at the top of the Dark Lord leader board is never ever questioned again.
Peter Mandelson is also said to have been deeply hurt by this news because he thought he was top of the dark Lord Leader table.
David the Ewok just seems to cause trouble wherever he goes, so I think its just as well he's leaving. Hurry up Jeremy with that
By Katarina Frogpond.