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Sunday, 15 May 2011

image for We would have won Eurovision under AV say LibDems
maybe next year but use Blue again

While admitting that the final result could have been better, a LibDem spokesman insisted that Eurovision voting is open to "manipulation" and an unacceptable level of tribalism.

The spokesman stressed that for several, very credible reasons the UK would have won comfortably under an AV voting system.

He assured us that everyone in Eastern Europe knows the UK flag well and most have relatives who are doing very nicely from the UK, thank you. From Bulgaria to Estonia millions of extended families enjoy the benefits of their relatives, UK earnings. Most save up £10 notes as a hedge against cold winters and food shortages.

They also enjoy the joy of watching the Eurovision Song Contest in colour via their HD TV's courtesy of thousands of counterfeit Tresco points.

"We are so thankful for the UK benefits system" Alexis Alexisava of Belarus told us, "they give our relatives Tax Credits, Child Benefit, Housing Benefit, Council Tax relief and they get free, can you believe it, free medical treatment. God bless the NHS, god bless Gordon Brown, god bless the UK. My visa is here now, I'm going to be a student and visit Mr Cameroon."

The LibDems are believed to be cultivating the Eastern European vote as no one in the UK will vote for them.

UKIP have called for Eurovision to be banned from UK TV.

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