The first ever initiative to provide a safe haven for minks has begun in the West of Scotland.
The Scottish Mink Project has been given £1 million to provide a safe area and shelter for thousands of minks and chavs in Glasgow.
Large aerodrome size buildings will be built to provide a roof over the heads of any shell suit ambassadors who either wish to drink till they're unconscious or just wander about shouting at each other or anyone else who comes into their field of vision.
A variety of items such as stones, tins and bottles will be liberally scattered around the facility for use as missiles when any of the minks feel like getting violent or feel like they're losing a particular argument and need something with which to reinforce their views.
Anti social behaviour support workers will be available in every unit for any individual who becomes demotivated or otherwise feels that no one listens to them anymore. The workers will demonstrate handy methods to attract the attention of non engaging friends or family members, including the latest forms of personal insult and actual physical violence.